Crappy Friend

It comes to no suprise to me that I have no friends.

I don't make the effort.
Not really.

And it's not because I don't want to.
Its because I am scared to.
and because I don't know how.

I hate being a clingy person.
And most of the time, i'm not.
In relationships - I am not.

But,
When it comes to friendships I need constant verification that we are still friends.
If a text isn't responded to.
Or a call goes to voicemail.
If plans get cancelled.
I think they are avoiding me.

And this is never the case.
There is always a perfectly reasonable explanation.

And I don't see it the other way either.
I get a text, I only respond if I feel it needs responding.
I don't return voicemails, because, if its important - they will call back.
And I cancel plans. ALL THE TIME.
Usually because I tie myself to work.
Or something comes up with the Cocobean

I am the worst friend.
But stick with me.
It works out.
And I can be pretty awesome sometimes too.