The hard goodbye

As excited as I am for a lunch date with 2 of my favourite ladies tomorrow.
I am equally as sad.

Tomorrow is potentially the last luncheon with Mrs C.
She is leaving us for greener - or should I say, sunnier - pastures.

This is a long-anticipated move.
She is finally getting her family together.

But why can't I push my own jealousies aside and just be happy for her?
I am being selfish.
I don't want her to leave.

But at the same time, I want her to be happy.
I want her son, and her hubby to be happy.

I just wish I had of made an effort sooner for us to be friends.
But, on the other hand, would saying goodbye be even harder?

I know she will always be on the other side of the iPhone screen, and just a text away.
But I feel like I am losing a sister with her departure.

This one is for you Mrs C.
I wish you health, love and happiness.
But I will miss you more than you can imagine.

xoxox

Kids

Why cant we think, say, feel about ourselves?
When it is so easy to sing the praises of those around us.

And not even just to our friends.
Friends are there to support and be supported by.
But to perfect strangers as well.
Something as simple as "I love your shoes!"
Even when they are down-right hideous.

I am not the kind of person that can just compliment someone.
I guess its because I find it hard to accept them.
They kinda make me feel uncomfortable,
Maybe I am not used to it.

But it is SO easy for me to tell my friends how amazing I think they are.
But if they say the same back to me, I go shy.
I shy away from accepting any kind of praise.

As a kid I was only ever praised when I had done something exceedingly well.
An A on a school project didn't count -
That was expected.
But something great
Something out of the ordinary.
Like, being voted Sports Captain for my school sports team.
I won, by default.
There was no vote.

When it comes to CocoBean and Shiloh [and even RubixCube when she arrives] I feel maybe I over-praise them.
Tell them how brilliant they are - all the time.
And they are.
They are fantastic kids.
Beautiful.
Intelligent.
Athletic.
Creative.
I am also the first person to put her hand up to being biased.
I can't see how I can affect them negatively by being this way.

Maybe they will grow up with an inflated sense of self-worth.
Consider themselves better than others.
Maybe they will be overly confident.

And you know what, if this happens.
I will be the first one with my hand up, admitting fault.
Even though, I think them being this way would put them in good stead for the rest of their lives.
As long as they can show empathy and are not arrogant, whats the problem?

This is one of the life lessons, I need to teach these kids.
I don't want them to ever doubt themselves
As much I self-doubt.
I don't want them to blame me
For how they turned out.
I want them to be happy.
Happy with themselves.
Happy with life.

After all, isn't that all we want for our kids.