Suffocation

Is in two frames of mind.

We love each other.
This much is clear.

How we proceed?
Well, its a little hazy.

Part of me wants to jump right in.
Announce it to the world.
Head straight the the registry the second he gets off that plane.

The other part of me thinks we should take it slow.
Hang out.
Chill it down.
After all, here is a man who has seen things that no one should see.
He has gone through things none of us can ever imagine.
The last thing he needs when he comes back is more stress.

Where is the happy medium?
I want to spend the rest of my life with this man.
Make up all the time we have lost.
But how do I do that without suffocating this

Open Book

I am not an open book.
I am not easily read.
I created a shield around myself years ago.

But there is one girl.
She knows me.
Inside and out.
and we haven't even known each other very long.

"You're doing it again.
Doubting yourself when you have no reason too.
October isn't that far away.
And soon you'll have uni to concentrate on too.
But for now, let yourself soak up the happiness before you start doubting it.
You deserve this.
You deserve happiness.
X"

This is by far the greatest text I have ever received.

Thank you to the girl in red heels.

You know when to push.
And you know how to make me fold.

<3 <3 <3

October

So close.
Yet so far.

So much time to wait.
But so much to do.

Must start going back to gym.
Need to look good for my sexy soldier.

Also need to investigate tattoo removal.
Her name can go bye bye.

Why can't I just...

take this feeling and run with it.

Why don't I believe that I deserve happiness too?

Why am I already going over the negatives whilst he is still talking about the positives.

Here he is, baring his soul to me, how he is going to leave her.
Transfer to the RAAF so he can move here.

And all I am thinking that as soon as he sees her face, all is going to be how it was before he left.

I am sick to death of finding the negatives in everything!

Thankfully I have him, and Mrs C, telling me I deserve it.
One day I will overcome this.
October.

xoxo

"of course its different. hard to talk about over this tho"

and with that one sentence we both knew.

We were on the same page.

In the clouds

I am literally walking on air.
My head is up in the clouds.

I don't know how this all happened.
It just did.

It's all fallen into place.

He is mine.
He wants me.
He chose me.

When he comes back, he is coming back, for me.

The Girl in the Red Heels

This is the best blog I have read in a long time.

Well structured.
Well organized.
and only a day old.

Do yourselves a favour and read;
thegirlinredheels.wordpress.com

Its a fun blog.
So different from what I write, and from what I usually read.

A definite breath of fresh air.